In a recent a training session with a team of firefighters. All the teams put the casualty (played by me) first. They knew I was playing a vulnerable person and they wanted to help and reassure me ‘everything would be ok’ , ‘you are strong’ , ‘you can do this’ ‘no matter how hard things seem now it will get better we promise’ …… it made me wonder …. Who is telling them those same things? Who is making sure they are ok after dealing with the things they see and go through? I have often questioned this over the years, especially when I talk to the teams after jobs and they put on their brave faces.

We can test ourselves in every type of training to prepare us for any situation we may come across in our work but what is the hardest test we can prepare for? …. think about it? …. yes, life!!! Life has so many lessons it wants to teach us, constantly testing our strengths and weakness daily. Lessons that we learn in our own lives gives us the best tools to deal with situations at work but it’s very rare that when you learn some of your hardest lessons in life you have an instructor next to you guiding you to ensure you are going in the right director, usually the voice that gives you guidance when you are doubting your choices …. is yours. When everything builds up and you can’t handle a situation you can’t scream ‘End ex’ and everything goes back to the way it was …. you must learn how to push through or ASK FOR HELP.

In our own lives we need to create our own ‘Life Faculty’;

1. Our team. We need a strong team around us who we work with. People you know have your back. People who make sure that you don’t struggle alone. That ask how you are when you have been faced with a difficult time. The people that know our truth, who we can be the real us in front of without judgement. People who know how you really are and who you feel completely confident to have by your side.

2. Your Instructors. You need people you trust to give you guidance. Who can see what you are trying to achieve and point you in the right direction when they can see you veering from the path you are on? Who will not belittle you when you make the wrong choice, they give you constructive criticism that you can accept and take on board?

3. Your lesson teachers/distractors. You need to know how you want to spend your time. Who you want to help in this scenario of life? Who you let into your scenario? What can you teach them and what can they teach you? What do these people teach you about yourself? Every person who steps into your scenario is there to teach is something about life, people and ourselves.

Every time you feel that life is tough, think of it like a simulation. Look at your own ‘Life Faculty’ do you need to change it. Do you need to rejig roles…? should one of your team be an instructor? Is the person you thought was your Instructor actually a distractor? Only you can make these decisions as this is your own personal simulation. Just remember you are the most important player in this simulation…. without you your simulation wouldn’t exist. Choose your team…. and enjoy and learn from your scenarios.


Written by


Victoria Edgerton

Founder ForRealUK

[email protected]